This is So Weird

 A law apparently passed by Parliament in 1774 that because of concern that the American colonies were growing so fast as to likely lead to separation from Britain:

1. That no person whatever who shall, from and after the passing of this act, transport him or herself, from the kingdoms of Great-Britain and Ireland, or the islands thereunto belonging, to ay of his Majesty's plantations in America, with intent to settle and dwell therein for any longer time than the space of seven years, shall presume to depart from the said kingdoms, util he or she, so transporting him or herself, shall pay, at the custom house of the post, from which such vessel shall take out the clearance, thev sum of fifty pounds sterling money of Great-Britain: And be it further enacted that for every child, or servant, which shall be so transported by the parent, or master, the like sum of fifty pounds shall be paid in manner aforesaid.--And be it further enacted by ther authority aforesaid, that if any person shall transport him or her self, or procure themselves to be transported, contrary to this act, evbery person so offending shall b adjudged guilty of felony without benefit of clergy--and that the captain of the vessel, in which such person shall be so transported, contrary to this act, shall forfeit and pay, for any such person, the sum of 500l. sterling money aforesaid.

2. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, that if any person, who shall transport him, or her self, from the kingdoms aforesaid, to any of his Majesty's plantations in America, with intent ti stay and dwell therein, for any space of time less than seven years, and nevertheless stay, dwell, and abide therein, beyond the space of seven years, such person so staying, dwelling, and sbiding in any of his Majesty's plantations in America, he shall be adjudged guilty of felony without benefit of clergy.

3. Provided always, and be it further [explained?] that nothing in this act shall extend, or be construed, extend to his Majesty's Governors of the said plantation or to any other person, or persons, in the actual service and employee of his Majesty, as aforesaid.

Then it gets really wild, enough so as to make me wonder if this was satire:

4. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, that all Marriages in his Majesty's said planttions shall be perfgormed in consequence of a licence ftom theb Governor where such Marriage shall be celebrated, for which licence the sum of twenty pounds shall be paid, and no more, and that all Marriages had without such licence, shall be void in law to every intent and purpose whatsoever.

5. And be it further eacted, that on the birth of every male child, the sum of fifteen pounds, and on the birth of every female child, the sum of  ten pounds sterling money shall be paid to the governor of the colony or plantations in which such children shall be born.

6. And be it further enacted by the authority aforesaid, that on the birth of every bastard child in any of his Majesty's said plantations, the sum of fifty pounds sterling money shall be paid by the mother of such bastard child, to the Governor where such bastard child shall happen to be born, and that in case any person, shall hereafter, either with malice, pretence, or otherwise kill or destroy any child or children; such killing or destroying shall not henceforth be deemed or adjudged to be murder in any court or courts, nor shall such killing be punished in any way or, manner whatsoever.

7. Provided always, and it is hereby further enacted, that nothing in this act shall extend to make any such killing legal, or justfiable, if the child so killed or destroyed, be above the age of twelve months, but that every such killing and destroying shall be punished as heretofore, any thing in this act to the contrary notwithstanding. 

So a year or more wages to move to America; a couple months wages to get married, and for every birth.  A heavy fine for bastard births and murder of infant bastards made legal. 

If this is not satire, then the Revolution was by this point unvoidable, but why does this Draconian law never appear in history books?

Yes, satire by Benjamin Franklin of the Intolerable Acts.