Saturday, November 6, 2021

Let's See How Gullible Snopes Is

 I sent this the Babylon Bee without success:

UC Berkeley Dept. Of  Physics Announces No More Cultural Appropriation of Hindu-Arabic Numbers

As part of UC Berkeley's Woke Physical Sciences Initiative, Dean James Johnson X announced that "they would no longer participate in double cultural appropriation.  (We are still consulting with the Math Department and the office of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion as to whether cultural appropriation from two different cultures is double cultural appropriation or cultural appropriation squared.)

The speed of light is now III C gigameters per second.  (The more formally correct value, 2.997 C gigameters per second cannot be expressed without decimal points, so because correct answers are racist anyway, we will use III C gigameters per second.)

In support of this courageous step towards cultural humility we will be increasing the number of not-black boards per classroom by 30x.  (Have you ever calculated time dilation when squaring Roman numerals?)  We expect Roman numeral calculators and slide rules may take a while to create unless Congress adds  development funds as part of the infrastructure bill.

Alas I am told Oxford is already underway on something similar.  See Mr. Jaeger's comments on eliminating all units derived from Empires including the Roman Empire.

Frankly, any widespread numeral system is going to be tied to colonizers, because that’s how they get widespread. I think we’re down to tally marks.

Now, you might think that converting STEM to a tally-rendered quantum_chromodynamics-based system of measure is difficult and silly, but think about it. Anyone who can actually do science and engineering that way clearly has a really good grasp of the subject. This counters the problem of snowflakes in social justice engineering programs.

Either that, or all the aircraft wings fall off.

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