Thursday, November 22, 2012

Alliteration Never Sounded So Silly

It isn't often that local news from my region makes it to the Drudge Report, but it is, like most crime in Boise, interesting because of its weirdness, not its frequency.  From the November 22, 2012 AP account of the man being charged with having broken into the Boise Zoo, attempted to steal a monkey, then beat it death after the monkey bit him:
His father, Jerry Watkins, said he can't believe his son entered the zoo wanting to do the monkey harm.

"He's not a malicious monkey murderer," Watkins said. "I'm thinking the monkey attacked him and he just tried to defend himself. I don't think he ever intended to kill it; he's just not that kind of guy."
Perhaps more significant in understanding what happened:
[Ada County Assistant Prosecutor] Alidjani had argued that the bail shouldn't be reduced because Watkins has a history of drug and drunken driving arrests and probation violations....

Watkins broke into the zoo after a night of grief-fueled drinking, Reedy said: An aunt had recently died, and Watkins' grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer only days before. So he went into Boise for a night out with friends and family.
I mean, if you had a rough time, wouldn't you try to break into a zoo and steal a monkey?


  1. If I were a sicko, I would opine that he should have stayed at home and spanked his monkey, but I'm not, so I won't.

  2. Some sicko might opine that he should have stayed home and spanked his monkey, but don't expect me to say that!

  3. Years ago, a teenager broke into the San Francisco Zoo and stole a koala bear, because he wanted to give his girlfriend a unique gift. He returned the animal unharmed but hungry after finding the koala would not eat anything he could think of to feed it.

    The Boise case is worse, and I hope they find an effective way of detering these numbskulls.