This Probably Sounded like It Would Work While intoxicated

1/31/25 Gizmodo tells of a police officer and DEA agent who decided that drug dealing was a good side hustle:

"In one of the more bizarre schemes, Hickox stole a kilogram of cocaine from an evidence locker and replaced it with a brick he’d made in a 3D printer. He sprinkled the fake brick with real cocaine in an attempt to make it look real. This is the drug-stealing equivalent of a teenager bulking up their bed with stuffed animals in the hope their parents don’t notice they’ve snuck out."

Best of all, in court he used the Breaking Bad defense: "He’d gotten a cancer diagnosis and that he was worried about leaving money behind for his family after he died."