Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, August 20, 2026

The Headline Was Disturbing

 8/20/26 CNN:

FBI raids former Rep. Eric Swalwell’s home, seizes devices in probe tied to sexual assault claims

The clarification in the article got us out of naughty land:

Federal agents seized electronic devices from former Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell at the San Francisco airport on Saturday and then raided his home in Washington, DC, the next day as part of an ongoing probe connected to sexual assault allegations, sources familiar with the investigation told CNN.[emphasis added]

Monday, July 6, 2026

Thursday, May 28, 2026

You're Having a Bad Day? Ask These Candles How Their Days Have Gone!

I used to by mistake use these to make the bearings on my Dobsonian move more smoothly. (That does not work. Clean them thoroughly instead, especially of any candle wax.) I kept them in the telescope in the last house. Think of the punishment "hot house' in Cool Hand Luke or the marvelous parody in Take the Money and Run, where the protagonist is locked in a hot house for two days with a life insurance salesman.

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

If You Grew Up Watching the Roadrunner Cartoons

You will look forward to this movie: Coyote v. Acme in which Wile E. Coyote hires an ambulance chaser to sue Acme for all the  injuries.

Wednesday, April 29, 2026

Favorite Texas Joke

Two young men went to college together. After graduation, they went to separate jobs in New York City and Houston.  Two years later, the guy from New York City had a conference in Houston and called his friend. 

"Let's meet at your hotel in the bar," the newly minted Texas says.

They meet in the bar.

"Everything in Texas is bigger and better. The skies are bigger, the roads are bigger, the women are more beautiful."

After a few drinks, the New Yorker has a call of nature. He asks the bartender where the Men's Room is. The bartender says down to the corridor, turn right, and first door on the right. 

The New Yorker turns left and goes through the door which leads to the pool. The Texan hears a splash and runs out to the pool. His friend is splashing in the pool yelling, "Don't flush! Don't flush!"

Monday, April 27, 2026

The Blazing World (Funny History)

Bishop Juxon and his chancellor (why did a bishop need a chancellor?) Dr. Arthur Duck went on a visitation of their diocese. As they traveled, they subject to catcalls, jostling, and quacking.

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Great Moments in Packaging Abuse

Fedex delivers package. Okay.
Inside is a Priority Mail box. Not okay, these are reserved for Priority Mail.
Inside the Priority Mail box is a Priority Mail envelope.
Not getting better. Inside it in bubble wrap are the little containers of scent that our wives use in outlets to keep the house smelling nice.

Someone clearly learned about the nesting Russian dolls and thought it was a how-to.

Sunday, April 19, 2026

Which of These Methods of Execution is Worse?

I am enjoying Jonathan Healey's The Blazing World: A New History of Revolutionary England: 1603-1689. You doubtless know because you read this blog that treason in England was punished by drawing and quartering, of which castration was probably the least unpleasant part. So in reading the first sentence of chapter 3, I found myself wondering if the Gunpowder Plotters would have preferred execution by Ursus Horribilis:

I wish there was a way to rotate pictures on my phone.  I can rotate and save them in Photos but they stay upside from blogger app 

This is Stupid Crimes in California Week, I Guess

4/18/26 KABC:
IRVINE, Calif. (KABC) -- Irvine police arrested a man accused of purchasing Lego sets from Target, removing some of the valuable pieces and replacing them with dried pasta.

"You read that correctly, we are talking about durum wheat semolina pasta, and what we are calling a pasta-tively terrible plan," the Irvine Police Department said in a post on Instagram.

Target reported at least 70 thefts across the country allegedly tied to 28-year-old Jarrelle Augustine, of Paramount, police said. The thefts totaled about $34,000 in losses.

Not being part of Legoverse, I find myself wondering what are the "valuable pieces"? 

Saturday, April 18, 2026

An Insurance Fraud So Weird That I Do Not Need to Tell You in What State it Happened

 4/17/26 SFGATE:

Multiple people in Glendale have been sentenced in a bizarre felony insurance fraud case involving a bear costume and luxury cars. 

Officials from the California Department of Insurance launched the investigation back in 2024 after an insurance company flagged an unusual claim of a Rolls-Royce Ghost sedan being damaged after a bear climbed inside near Lake Arrowhead. The grainy surveillance footage appeared to show a bear rummaging through the vehicle, and photos submitted showed scratches on the interior of the car, which can retail for over $400,000 when new.

But the video and photos from the scene didn’t look quite right. During the investigation, detectives sent the footage to a biologist from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, who “concluded the animal shown was clearly a human in a bear suit,” according to the news release from the California Department of Insurance. The team then realized similar claims had been made about damage to two Mercedes vehicles. 

At least the "bear" did not drive it to a chop shop for disassembly. 

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Most Amusing Insult That I Have Seen Recently

Did you have an accident with a few rubber bands, a liquid lunch, and a particle accelerator or something?

Monday, February 23, 2026

"I Will Unleash Angry Kittens On You": No, Not an SNL or Monty Python Skit

2/20/26 TWZ:

A group of Block 52 F-16CJ Vipers belonging to the South Carolina Air National Guard was recently spotted heading east across the Atlantic as part of a huge build-up of U.S. forces ahead of potential strikes on Iran. Each of the Vipers was notably seen carrying an Angry Kitten pod, a new electronic warfare system that helps defend against anti-air threats, and that may now be headed for its first use in real combat. Angry Kitten also has a very unique genesis, which we will dive into in a moment. These particular F-16s are primarily tasked with the Wild Weasel mission and are optimized for neutralizing enemy air defenses, something that would be crucial in any future operation aimed at the regime in Tehran. They can fulfill many other types of missions, as well.

The 12 F-16CJs arrived at Lajes on the island of Terceira in the Azores, a Portuguese archipelago in the mid-Atlantic, on February 17 and left the next day. The Vipers are readily identifiable as ones assigned to the South Carolina Air National Guard’s 169th Fighter Wing by the “South Carolina” emblazoned on many of their tails, as well as distinctive markings reflecting the wing’s nickname, the “Swamp Foxes.” They were accompanied by at least one KC-46A Pegasus tanker. A substantial U.S. Air Force tanker force is now also forward-deployed in Lajes to support the ongoing build-up.

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Saturday, February 7, 2026

This Is Not Fox Tossing or Model-T Bullfighting

 Like this hysterical book documents.  Nor is it the depravity of masked fox-tossing:

At some of the German Courts, fox-tossing remained long in favour; Landgravine Emelie of Hesse was a great patroness, but it was left to Duke Louis of Brunswick to add a further element of grotesque absurdity to this pastime by inventing masked fox tossing. Not only did the tossers dress themselves up in bizarre costumes as Dianas, nymphs, hobgoblins, centaurs and other creatures of mythology, but these master-buffoons did the same thing to the animals they tossed. By means of tinsel, gaudy bits of cloth and wire, the wretched foxes and hares-the latter being the favourites for this purpose-were dressed up either in the most fantastic manner they could invent or to represent unpopular personages or political foes in the most life-like manner that could be contrived.


 



Tuesday, February 3, 2026

Watching My Grandson Playing Basketball i Suddenly Thought...

How interesting it would be if played from the backs od Shetland Ponies or chariots (bigger court of course)