Thursday, November 15, 2018

The Drug Whose Name We Dare Not Speak

My neurologist prescribed klonepin some months back to help the speech and swallowing issues that are side effects of the two strokes in 2015.  (Bihemispheric strokes often impair speech even for those of us lucky enough to be left-handed.) 

I have spent more than a week trying to get the neurologist's office and the pharmacy to coordinate refilling it.  It clearly helps the speech and to a lesser extent, the swallowing problem.  My wife, daughter, and son-in-law all said it helped, but I was not convinced.  Being off it for two weeks had persuaded me they were right.

Anyway, I finally did the long drive to the neurologist to get a paper copy of the prescription since emails and FAX machines were clearly the enemy.  When we reached the office, the prescription had finally reached the pharmacy.  When the receptionist asked what drug, she said not to say the name, but to write it down.  At which point my wife muttered "Gub."

If you saw the greatest comedy Woody Allen ever made, Take the Money and Run, you know what scene this is
from.

Because life imitates art, some years ago, I needed a cashier's check made out to Southern Python Gun.  Because "gun" is a word you do not want to say in a bank.  I wrote out the name of the company and the amount (for three Barrett Light .50s) and went to the bank.  The teller was insistent that the check was to be made out to Southern Ohio Gum.  Unlike the movie, at least I did not have to argue with the manager as to whether I wrote "gum," or gun."

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