12/19/24 Times of India reports on the divorce/custody/remarriage/redivorce idiocy of the parents of the girl who went into a Wisconsin school a few days,back and started killing people. Think good and hard about the debris field a divorce causes in the life of your children.
I went through a not wanted divorce after 11 years of marriage and 3 children. It was the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life. Fortunately I remarried a woman who was of strong stuff, who has remained with me for over 32 years.
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe that there is no such thing as a soulmate. Rather I think that two people, who have determination in their makeup, become soulmates through a refusal to let anything stop them from building a life together, by sheer grit.
It is often said that marriage is 50/50. I disagree, since sometimes it is 100/0. When a person is having a hard time, through things like cancer, the loss of a parent, etc., then the other person has to pick up the slack and be the strength of the relationship. At other times the shoe is on the other foot, with the first person maybe struggling with a hard time at work, depression, maybe a problem with children from a first marriage.
In this way marriage then truly becomes a thing of beauty and an example of the type of thing that God speaks of in the Bible. The word marriage has one meaning of two things becoming one, like the marriage of two dissimilar things, like a marriage of two different metals or a marriage of two different foods, making something that is stronger and better than either one could be on it's own.
One more thing I like to remember is that the word love in the case of marriage is a verb, and that the mere word love as in " I love you" has little to do with the type of love that truly solid marriages have.
The hardest part of what I suspect is most divorces with children is that the husband/father doesn't get to actually raise their kids. Even now, as opposed to 1990 when I went through divorce, the father's usually get the supporting role as opposed to the mother who gets the lead. This means that men need to make certain when they choose a partner that there is someone of substance there and not just a pretty face or someone who will just go along with your desires.
I am sorry for such a rant but as you may see, I have found it to be important that both men and women understand the importance of choosing the right person and also the commitment necessary before undertaking such a huge and life-changing step. Wishing you and your loved ones a Happy New Year full of rewarding and welcomed opportunities.