Occupied Land

 You may be aware that many universities are now including occupied land statements in syllabi and other official documents.  These are of the form: "We acknowledge that we occupy lands originally owned by [name whatever tribe claims to have been there from the beginning of time, even though most tribes moved a lot, in the centuries before and after Columbus]."

Satire: 

A Memo From Privilege University’s Diversity Offices

It has, however, come to our attention that there are still some who have not yet completed this essential task. Our DIE agents in the field—Students and Teachers Advocating for Safety and Inclusion (STASI)—have reported that some suggest they could find no evidence that the founders of our school victimized indigenous peoples. Please recall that all at PU are required to attend the mandatory Liberatory and Inclusive Education Sessions (LIES) in which information is plentifully available regarding the moral and spiritual superiority of the eternally peaceful indigenous peoples on whose sacred lands we stand. A LIES schedule can be found on the DIE webpage, right beside the links for petitions to defund the police and to donate to bail funds for peaceful protesters who were unjustly jailed for striking a blow against racism by destroying property and fighting with police. Learn the true histories, which racist exclusion has buried, and when necessary, creatively invent them with the inspiration of social justice in your hearts!

 

If I ever get this crap, my statement will be:

I acknowledge that we mammals occupy lands originally the homelands of sauropods (the original "lizard people").

.