Some News Stories Are Too Much Fun

From the March 12, 2013 CBS Seattle:

Three elite Ukrainian commandos have gone AWOL.

The dolphins are highly trained, intelligent, and can strike anywhere.

Ukrainian media reported earlier this month that three military trained dolphins didn’t return to their base in the Crimean port of Sevastopol. The dolphins were reported to be out during a training exercise.

These particular dolphins are trained in the use of special knives and firearms to kill enemy divers. They are also adept in the use of explosives to sink enemy ships.

They are Iraq War veterans, and are apparently out looking for mates.  No word if they are armed.  The comments, however, are a riot:

Run, Flipper, RUN!
Underwater arms dealers should be on the lookout for these 3

and the line from Jaws:

We're gonna need a bigger boat.